I was wandering a lot around Michael Thomas Ford's novels, never deciding to buy one since, first there were so many to choose from that I didn't know where to start and second I was worried to become addicted and knowing me if I liked one than I for sure I would have bought all of them. So I waited and waited and then in a gay bookstore they were all there, looking at me from the shelves and they are so pretty with those covers that I picked one. The saleswoman told me pick one random, they are all good and my choice was Looking for it.

It's strange, usually I don't like stories with too much characters, I never know for whom to care for and always feel like no one of them has enough space. And above all, at least one of them has not an happy ending. And instead Looking for it made me rethink on my assumptions. It's true, it's the choral story of a groups of friends, all of them gay and all of them represents a way to face gay life. There is Mike, the bartender of the Engine Room, the pub where all of them gather. He seems the more steady of them, always ready to listen to other problems. But also Mike has his bad experience in the past and maybe he is alone since he fears to be burnt again. But Mike is a too good guy to stay alone forever and so enter Father Thomas Dunn, the new episcopal pastor of the S. Peter's Church, the same church where some of the above friends go. So, in a way, Mike and Thomas do the same work, they listen to people problem trying to forget that also them have their own relationship issue. Thomas was in love with a fellow seminarist, a boy he didn't have the courage to love and who died. Since then, Thomas's guilty grew so much that now he is convinced that his punishment is to be alone forever. What I liked of Mike and Thomas' story is that it was without angst; both of them new that it was not an easy relationship but they faced it with an easiness that made it sweet and tender.

The other known couple in the novel is John and Russell, who are facing the classic 7 years love relationship crisis. They love each other, but they arrived in a moment in life and in their relationship, where the other is granted, and you believe that you haven't to prove your love. John and Russell were since the beginning a strange couple, Russell full of joy and life, and John so quiet and shy. Probably this is the reason why they love each other, but living together is a play of balancing, and probably they forgot that. It will be not easy for them to find a way to stay together, but what I liked of their story is that they never stopped to love each other.

Then there is Simon, one of the best character of all. He is 65 years old and recently "widower". His more than 40 life partner died of cancer the year before, and Simon is wondering why he didn't die with him. He has friends, a place to stay but he is alone, and at his age he doesn't believe possible to have a second chance in love. And even if it was, how will he recognize it? He was out of the dating game for so much that the rules are all changed, and he doesn't know if he likes how they are playing now.

The last two men, but not the least important, are Stephen and Greg. In a way they are similar, they both are in the closet but in the opposite way: Greg came out simply living his family and all he knew to live in another city, among strangers who accept him for who he is and not for who they want him to be. Stephen instead is out with his friends but completely in the closet with his family, and living one door next the other it's quite impossible to have a normal relationship. So both of them are limiting their relationship to one night standings, believing in this way to quench the thirst of love they have, and instead gathering so much need inside that sooner or later they will explode.

On a side note there is also the story of Pete, probably the sadder of all. A man who was raised believing that being gay is the worst evil of all, and that has no way to understand his needs and feelings. The only way to claim them is with violence. Even if he is not a "good" guy, I think the author considered him another of his boys, another way to live being gay, I wish this one being the less chosen, but I know that in reality, for many people is the only one. I can't hate Pete, neither after knowing what he did, I can only feel a great pain for him.

On a closing note, Looking for It is a wonderful romance, and it's also pretty sexy, something I seldom have the chance to find in a more mainstream novel. The sex scenes are all good, even the one that serves to the author to prove something, they are enough but not too much, and above all, they are more romantic than free.

And now my only problem is how to choose the next one among the Michael Thomas Ford's novels...

Amazon: Looking For It

Michael Thomas Ford's In the Spotlight post: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/423626.html

The Rainbow Awards: Third (and last!) Phase: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/850354.html


Cover Art by Steve Walker